A Third And Fourth Party Read online

  “Oooooh,” Dale said with an exaggerated grimace. “Don’t even speak of such horrible things.”

  “I’m sorry. Some topics should be taboo.”

  “Absolutely.” Dale finished off a wing and dropped the bone in the corner of the container. “So did you get any other responses to your ad?”

  Shit. Dale couldn’t believe he asked that. He did not want to take the conversation in this direction. At least his conscious mind didn’t. His subconscious mind was probably going to humiliate the living shit out of him, however…

  Jeremy grinned. “A couple, but nothing that I followed up on, and I didn’t renew it. I guess I was spoiled for future activities.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Your wife, she’s one hell of a woman. You’re a lucky guy.”

  “Believe me, I know.”

  “Have you two done anything else like that?”

  Dale shook his head. “Nope.”

  “Did you regret doing it?”

  “No. And it’s weird, because you’d think that we would, you know? Or at least get jealous or freaked out by it every once in a while. But that never happened. It really was a positive experience for both of us.”

  “Well, cool. I’m glad to hear it.”

  Both men silently took a bite of their respective Buffalo wings.

  “Would you do it again?” Jeremy asked, casually.

  Chapter 3

  The party sucked.

  It sucked worse than any party Theresa had ever attended, and she’d attended some parties that really, really sucked. The food was vile. The house smelled like a combination of cigarette smoke and fish heads. (Theresa wasn’t sure why she associated the smell with fish heads and not some other portion of a deceased fish, but it was just that kind of party.) The music was crap. The guests were boring. The hostess let out a shrill cackle at the lamest of anecdotes.

  Theresa took a sip from her wine (which, in keeping with the theme of the evening, sucked), checked her watch, and placed an ancient faerie curse upon her mother for forcing this misery upon her.

  “Shitty party, huh?”

  Theresa glanced over at the woman standing next to her. She was a tall, thin, extraordinarily beautiful brunette with long, straight hair. She looked to be in her early twenties, was dressed in a black cocktail dress, and held a can of Diet Coke.

  “Oh, God yes,” said Theresa. “Are you here on purpose or did somebody drag you?”

  “On purpose, believe it or not. But probably not for much longer. What about you?”

  “My mom’s a friend of the hostess.”

  “Ah. You know, if you want to provide a distraction, I’ll hijack the stereo system and get some decent music playing in here.”

  “What kind of distraction?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. You could flash somebody.”

  Theresa laughed. “I don’t think my mom would approve.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’d have my boyfriend try something, but I dumped his ass last week.”

  “You don’t sound sorry that he’s gone.”

  “Nah. He was a jerk. I caught him sleeping with the maid. And it’s not even like he was rich enough to afford a maid, it was just some floozy in a French maid outfit. I’m Joannie, by the way.”

  “Theresa.”

  “Nice to meet you, Theresa. Do you come to shitty parties like these often?”

  Theresa laughed again. She felt surprisingly comfortable around Joannie, which was odd since she was normally creeped out by aggressively outgoing people. “Only when I can’t get out of it.”

  “Is your hubby here?” asked Joannie, checking out Theresa’s wedding ring.

  “No, he got out of it.”

  “Lucky bastard. Well, I hate to say it, but this is about all I can take of this place.”

  “Okay. Nice meeting you.”

  “Are you stuck here? Wanna go out and grab a couple drinks or something?”

  Theresa blinked, a bit taken aback. She wasn’t used to strange women asking her out for drinks, and wasn’t quite sure how to respond.

  “Oh, that’s right, you’re here with your mom.”

  “Yeah. She’s kind of my ride home.” Theresa shrugged.

  “I could drop you off.”

  I wonder if she’s Dale’s type?

  Theresa wasn’t sure where that thought suddenly came from, but it lingered for a moment. Joannie was attractive, sexy, seemingly fun loving, and available.

  No, no, no, do not think of her as a potential threesome partner, you perverted bitch. She’s just being social, that’s all… Holy shit, what if she’s hitting on me?

  She wondered what Dale would do if she brought home this stunning brunette for him to play with.

  Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

  “Hello? Earth to Theresa?”

  “Huh? Oh, sure, I’d love to.” Theresa looked around the room until she spotted her mom. “Let me just tell my mother and we’ll go.”

  Theresa walked over to where her mother was talking to an elderly gentleman with his hair in a ponytail. She waited for a lull in the conversation, which didn’t take long, and then spoke up. “I think I’m going to head off.”

  “Yeah, good idea. Let me grab my purse and we’ll go.”

  “No, actually, Joannie over there invited me to go out and have some drinks.”

  Theresa’s mother glanced over at the brunette. “Joannie? Do I know her?”

  “I’m not sure. Do you?”

  “No. Okay. Have fun.”

  “That’s it? No interrogation?”

  “Not this time. She looks like a sweet girl. Enjoy yourself.”

  * * * * *

  Theresa and Joannie sat in a corner booth. The bar, a small dive with an interesting but unidentifiable smell, was mostly empty.

  Theresa ordered a strawberry daiquiri. Joannie ordered whiskey.

  “Ooooooh, yeah, that’s just what I needed.” Joannie’s voice was slightly husky after taking a deep swig of her drink. “So how long have you been married?”

  “Not even a year yet.”

  “Newlyweds, cool. My boyfriend and I were together for three years.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. I don’t think we ever would’ve gotten married. I never cheated on him, but I’m not sure monogamy works for me, you know what I mean?”

  Theresa nodded politely.

  “I think we just committed too early. I mean, I was only nineteen. I needed to play the field, try new things, experiment, live life, you know what I mean?”

  Theresa nodded politely again.

  Joannie took another swig of her whiskey. “So I’m better off. Not that I have anything against marriage, I’m sure you and Dale are happy—you look like a happy person—but it’s not my thing, at least not right now.”

  “It’s a big step,” Theresa agreed. “Not something anybody should rush into.”

  “Anyway, he was really boring in bed. He could do the straightforward stuff all right, I guess, but as far as creativity goes, there was nothing there. Is this too much information?”

  “No, no, share whatever you want.”

  “I just think there should be more to sex than a new position every few months, you know what I mean? What’s wrong with doing it outside every once in a while? Maybe on a swing set or something.”

  “Nothing wrong with that at all.”

  “Toys scared the shit out of him. I tried to explain that they weren’t competition, but he never understood. And you don’t even want to hear about the time I suggested bringing in a friend.”

  “Male or female?”

  “Oh, hell, I tried to get him to try both. No go. You don’t think I’m a slut, do you?”

  Theresa shook her head.

  “I’m sorry to unload on you like this. Most of my friends are his friends, too, so it’s tough to be able to just vent, you know what I mean?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Theresa really wasn’t sure what to make of th
is. If Joannie was sending out hints that she’d like to be the second F in a FMF sandwich, she was hardly being subtle. But if she was simply venting about her ex-boyfriend’s lack of a sense of sexual adventure, Theresa didn’t want to push the issue.

  “Let me tell you, the day I dumped his ass was the day I became a free woman.” Joannie finished off her whiskey. She made eye contact with the bartender and pointed at her empty glass.

  “Well, I hope you make the most of it,” Theresa said.

  “I plan to.” Joannie bit her lip thoughtfully. “You think I did the right thing in dumping him, right?”

  “If he cheated on you, definitely.”

  “Because he did apologize. He even cried. He said it was the first time he’d ever done anything like that.”

  “You didn’t believe that, did you?”

  Joannie shrugged. “No, not really. Well, no, not at all. I kind of suspected it for a couple of months.”

  “Then yes, you did the right thing.”

  Joannie tried to take a sip from her empty glass. “Because I’m not always sure, you know what I mean? I just… I don’t like to be alone. At night, when we were together, it was like heaven. I know he’s a jerk and a cheater but…oh, I don’t know what I know.”

  Theresa nodded politely.

  Joannie wiped a tear from her eye. “God, I miss him. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I don’t know if I can love anybody else.” She took another non-existent sip from her glass. “What does it take to get more fucking booze in this place?”

  “Are you…uh, okay?” Theresa asked, uneasily.

  Joannie shook her head and buried her face in her hands. “I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

  “You weren’t stupid, he was.”

  “No, no, I drove him into the arms of another woman, I just know it! He was everything to me.” Joannie’s voice cracked on the word “everything” and she just sat there, sobbing.

  The bartender brought Joannie another glass of whiskey and wandered back to the counter, looking uncomfortable.

  Theresa took a healthy gulp of her strawberry daiquiri, thinking that maybe she wouldn’t be propositioning anybody this evening.

  Joannie lifted her head and took out a cell phone. She pressed a button and wiped her eyes on her napkin while she waited. “Sweetie? It’s me. No, no, please don’t hang up! I love you! I can change, I swear to God I can change! Please don’t hang up!”

  “I’m going to visit the restroom,” Theresa whispered.

  “Is she there with you now?” Joannie demanded loudly. “Don’t lie to me! She is, isn’t she? Put her on! Put that bitch on the phone! She’ll never give you what I can! I love you, sweetie! Hello? Hello?” Joannie shook the phone, and then redialed. “Pick up the fucking phone, sweetie!”

  Chapter 4

  When Theresa returned home, Dale was seated on the couch, watching a reality dating show. He shut off the television with the remote control and sat up.

  “Was it that great of a party? I figured you’d be home a couple of hours ago.”

  Theresa walked over and collapsed onto the couch. “No, I’m afraid that I cannot honestly say it was a great party.”

  “That bad?”

  “Promise me that if we ever split up, you’ll force me to behave with some shred of dignity.”

  “Okay.”

  ”Promise me!”

  “Yes, I promise! What happened?”

  “You don’t want to know. You may think you want to know, but you don’t.”

  “All right.”

  “So how was your evening?” Theresa leaned back on the couch and rested her legs on Dale’s lap.

  “Not too bad. I ran into an old friend.”

  “Who?”

  “Do you remember Jeremy?”

  Theresa sat right back up. “Jeremy?”

  “Yeah, Jeremy Tuttle. I used to work with him. Bald guy in his fifties, thin mustache, squeaky voice…”

  “I don’t remember him.”

  “You met him at the Christmas party that one time.”

  “Still doesn’t ring a bell.”

  “Oh. Well, he asked how you were doing. That was my excitement for the evening.” Dale began to rub her feet.

  “How were your wings?”

  “How do you know I got wings?” Jeremy tried to look innocent.

  In response, Theresa swiped her finger over a spot on Dale’s shirt, then popped it into her mouth. “Mmmm. Atomic. Just the way I like them.”

  “Oh. They were fine.”

  He continued rubbing her feet and Theresa leaned back again and closed her eyes, trying to let a wonderful foot massage ease away the memories of this evening. Theresa had done everything she could to console her drinking buddy, but in the end Joannie had driven off to her boyfriend’s place to beg him in person to take her back. Theresa had taken a taxi home.

  “Mmmmmmm…that feels great.” She wiggled her toes.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  Though Theresa had been in an anti-sexual mood when she walked in the door, she was definitely beginning to feel some tingles. A bit of it might have been from the foot rub, but hearing the name “Jeremy,” even if it was really referring to a bald fifty-year-old with a squeaky voice, made her thoughts return to that awesome weekend.

  If Dale only knew that she’d been considering bringing Joannie home as a birthday present…at least before the woman’s mental instability surfaced.

  She wasn’t quite sure what his reaction would be, but she suspected that it might be along the lines of “YEEEEEEEE-HA!”

  As Dale continued rubbing her feet, she continued getting frisky. So maybe her threesome idea didn’t work out, but, hey, she’d get Dale and his cock all to herself tonight.

  She considered flashing Dale her bedroom eyes, but decided against it. No need for subtlety. “Shall we go fuck?”

  “I was just about to ask you the same thing. Well, I was going to say ‘make love,’ but I like your crude way better.”

  “Good. Race you to the bedroom.”

  Dale glanced over at the closed bedroom door. “Nah, let’s stay out here for a while. It’s a comfy couch and we don’t use it enough.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  Dale patted her legs, and Theresa moved them off of his lap. He stood up.

  “I’ll get a sheet,” he said. “You get naked.”

  “I can do that.”

  As Dale walked over to the linen closet, Theresa stripped out of her party clothes, tossing them onto the floor. She thought about leaving on her bra and panties for the time being, then decided, fuck it, and got completely naked.

  Dale draped a sheet over the couch. Before the cloth even had a chance to settle, Theresa climbed back up on the couch and reclined all the way back.

  Dale got down on his knees and traced his index finger down her leg.

  “I hope this nudity arrangement doesn’t only apply to me.” Theresa tugged at his waistband.

  “Just for the time being.”

  “Because I’d really love to see your cock.”

  “You’ve seen it.”

  “It might have changed.”

  “Well, then our lust will be cut short by a visit to the hospital. So I think I’ll keep my cock covered for a while.”

  “Oh, if you must.”

  Dale leaned down and kissed a trail up her right leg, starting at the ankle and moving all the way up to her thigh. Her nipples stiffened before he even passed her knee.

  His trail of kisses switched directions at her thigh, moving across her leg and right over to…

  She sighed deeply as he kissed her pussy, nuzzling his nose against her pubic hair. It was darker than the brown hair on her head, and neatly trimmed.

  Dale put his warm hands on her inner thighs and pushed her legs apart just a bit, and then slowly, gently began to lick.

  Theresa pressed her hands to her breasts, taking her nipples between her fingers. She had no idea how she’d gotten so turned on so
quickly, but Dale had no doubt already discovered that his tongue was in no way necessary to make her vagina wet. Not that it didn’t serve other essential purposes, but the pussy-dampening portion of the evening had already been taken care of.

  She thought about Jeremy’s hard cock pounding into her from behind while Dale’s hard cock filled her mouth.

  As if he knew how incredibly horny she was, Dale began to lick faster and faster. There was no need for the tender warming up stage…she just wanted her pussy eaten!

  Dale moaned as his tongue rapidly worked all over her, and she moaned as well, loudly.

  In fact, much to her astonishment, she was reaching her climax more quickly than she would ever have expected.

  “Oooohhhh…right there oh God keep doing that don’tstopdon’tstop oooohhh…”

  Dale gave one last quick flick with the tip of his tongue and then lifted his head away.

  “I didn’t give you permission to clock out yet!” Theresa wailed.

  “It’s not orgasm time.”

  “Bullshit. It’s always orgasm time.”

  Dale smiled the smile of the truly wicked. “Nope. We’re going to have some fun tonight.”

  “We weren’t already?”

  “Close your eyes.”

  “Your cock is already covered, what else could I need to see?”

  “Close ‘em.”

  “Make you a deal. Give me another forty-five, fifty minutes of oral sex and I’ll close one of them.”

  Dale folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t make me punish you.”

  “Oooh, you naughty boy. There’s going to be punishment? Okay.” Theresa closed her eyes.

  Dale stood up and walked away. She heard the bedroom door open. She was very tempted to peek, but no, she’d behave for now.

  Dale returned. “Lift your head.”

  Theresa complied. She felt a silken cloth over her eyes, which Dale tied behind her head.

  “Can you see?”

  Theresa shook her head.

  “You sure?”

  “Can’t see a thing.”

  “You promise? How many penises are in the room?”

  “Eight.”

  Dale gave her a surprise kiss on the mouth, which she passionately returned. They kissed for several moments, tongues sliding into each other’s mouths, and Theresa’s breasts ached as they pressed against Dale’s shirt.